Jess Hehrer

July 3rd:

Week 7

This week was hard

So hard, that it is pretty difficult for me to even write about it. Part of me just wants to complain and rant about everything that went wrong during our build. All the crazy challenges, situations, and problems that had to be worked out. The other part of me is incredibly grateful that I had an opportunity to grow this past week. Even more grateful that the week is over. Everything always seems less extreme when it is over and you can look at it with some perspective, but while it's occurring - some challenges just seem impossible.

The first day that we were in Acuna, it topped out at around 109 degrees. The incredible amount of heat was cushioned with an insane amount of humidity. It was so hard to work in those conditions, especially since the first day usually is the most physically demanding day. Walls have to be constructed and the cement slab needs to be completed. It wrecked all of us. Putting in so much work on such a hot day is a hard thing to recover from, and the rest of the week didn't really allow for any recovery time. 

The site was so small, that I only had a little over a foot of space to stucco in.

I couldn't ask for a better crew of people to lead this past week. I know it was hard for them. Shoot, it was hard for me, and I have been at it for seven weeks now. But, dang. Thursday, they put in some serious work.  They did two days work in a single day, and rocked out that house. We were able to dedicate on Friday morning, and it was definitely bittersweet. As much as I was ready to leave Acuna and get back to the States, I was sad to go. When such challenging situations arise, it becomes easy to cling to what you know. Things that can bring you comfort, and things that you are familiar with. That week I got to know my team really well, and I began to appreciate them a lot. Their personalities, jokes, and easy going nature brought me comfort when comfort was hard to find. I also fell in love with the lady that we were building for. Her name is Ramona, and she is absolutely precious. She is an elderly woman who is strong in her faith, and is loved by the community. All week she brought us joy with her smiles, and her almost daily supply of coca cola. I think I might try to visit her the next time I am in Acuna. I would really enjoy seeing her again.

This week marked the halfway point of the summer. I have been here for seven weeks. WOAH. A lot of people have been asking me if I have changed or if I feel different since I began interning with Casas por Cristo. 

Everything has changed. What is crazy, is I know that my thinking has changed, but I can't tell you how. All I know is that it isn't the same.  I know what it means to be uncomfortable, and I am use to it. In fact, being comfortable is kind of a foreign concept to me. I tend to find comfort in the small things now. I have a good understanding of the difference between the needs of our world and our wants. I also know, that I can't find satisfaction in settling. I need to strive to make a difference. I need to expand my horizons. I need to constantly battle through challenges so that I can grow as a person. I don't want to live this life in the shadows too afraid to try something new. We weren't created for that. We were created to serve our God and help His people. That's why we find so much satisfaction in doing good. It's our purpose.

Since coming here I have questioned my faith, my God, my friends, and my goals in life. I have analyzed myself and my desires. I have been grumpy, sad, confused, angry, frustrated, pained, and happy. I've become familiar with my inadequacies and strengths. Some relationships I have with people back home have become stronger, and I've learned that there is truth in the saying that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

My whole life has done a 180, and I have no idea what direction I am going now. All I know is that it isn't the same as before. My biggest fear is going to back to school and not being able to connect in the way I did before. Nothing seems the same now, and I am not sure how that is going to affect me back home. I do know that I am ready for what ever challenges come from that because I've understand that I serve a God who is far bigger than I ever imagined. I've also realized what a blessing and honor it is to be His servant. It's a place I never want to stray from.

I hope that this next month and a half brings me more than this past one did. I can't wait to see what happens. There is joy that can be found in the struggles of life.

In Christ,

Jess

"'Ah Lord GOD! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for You." Jeremiah 32:17

June 15th:



After this week:

• My lips are so chapped I can't feel them
• I have blisters on both heels
• I smashed my knuckle with a hammer, causing bleeding and massive swelling
• My hands hands are so dry I can't fully open them without help
• I learned that you can get a blister within a blister
• I have at least three blisters on the palms of both hands
• My ankle got owned by a 2x4
• I got use to being dehydrated and hungry
• My hands are in so much pain, I can barely wash my hair
• My tank top had salt lines on it from sweating so much
• and I have the black lung from inhaling so much insulation and drywall dust.

But none of that compares to the emotional and mental challenges I faced this past week. This week was a pretty big deal for all of the interns. It was our first build without any staff members. No one was there to keep us on track, and there was no one there to fix any of the mistakes or challenges that would occur. Except the interns. [dundunduuun] We were "fortunate" enough to have a double as our first build. The seven of us put over fifty hours in to that house so that it could be finished and dedicated by Friday afternoon. To give you some perspective - they generally recommend that a group has around twenty people if they plan on building a double. Oh. my. gosh. 

I am fairly certain that everything that could have gone wrong this week did go wrong. I could go on and tell you every detail...but seriously. There were a lot of things that we had to overcome, and it would take way to long to tell you about everything. In summary, our site was very small, and very uneven. We had to shorten the house, and use all of our stucco sand to level our the foundation. Our windows were too big for the wall, and we also had to move our materials twice a day until we used them.

Our super small work site. I am on the slab working with others  trying to finish the cement before it dried.

 It was absolutely incredible to watch our team handle the problems. We had to think outside the box, maintain positive attitudes, and work incredibly long days. There were definitely times when frustrations were pretty high, but at the end of the week we were still friends. That in itself is pretty dang awesome.

We put over fifty hours in to a home. Our blood, tears, sweat, and love went into that house, and we received no personal gain at all. The family didn't seem to appreciate the house as much as we would have expected, and we almost ran in to the weekend. We had to deal with hunger, sunburn, dehydration, exhaustion, and injuries. A lot of us had our own personal battles to deal with too. Problems back home, uncertainties about the future, or just working through the changes that God is doing on our hearts.

We paid for this internship. We paid to be uncomfortable. In fact, some of us are still paying for this internship, and Casas is still raising money for us to build houses. The longer I am here, the more I realize that it isn't about money, materials, or houses. It's about relationships. Even though we didn't make a connection with the family we were building for, we connected with the community and a family right next door.

All week we were blessed with little hands and feet running all over the place. The kids in the neighborhood helped us clean up at the end of the day, and they entertained us endlessly. My little guy Moses, would explain to his friends that I didn't speak Spanish [No habla espanol] and that I only spoke English. The other kids would stare at me and slowly nod their heads. Haha. I have never felt so incompetent.

Moses is in the middle. I really hope I see that kid again this summer. The boy on the right is Leslie's brother.

On our last day a lady came over and asked if I spoke Spanish. After explaining yet again that I don't know Spanish, I went to go get David to see if he could help her. She wanted us to come over when we were done to pray for her daughter who was 'special'. 

When we were finally done with the build and packed up the trailer we walked around until we found her. She took us into her home and led us to her daughter. Her home was beautiful. When I walked through the door I was greeted by a smooth concrete floor and stuccoed walls. Simple but clean. She and her husband had built it themselves piece by piece. The house was relatively small, and the living room was also the bedroom. Immediately to our right we saw her daughter. Her name is Leslie and she was wrapped in only a sheet and was laying on the bed in front of a fan. She smelled like stale urine and sweat, and her legs were so limp that I knew she wasn't able to walk. Her eyes wandered back and forth but never seemed to focus on any particular spot, and her fingers were constantly moving. I am pretty sure she had a silent seizure while I was in the room. She was smacking her lips and her eyes were fluttering in the back of her head. Not for very long...just a few seconds, but long enough for my heart to break. I would imagine that she was probably eight years old or so. We prayed for her, talked to her mom for a bit, then headed back to the States.

I went to watch a movie with the guys later that night. I cried all the way back...from Hawkins all the way to Rich Beam tears rolled down my face. I cried for the people of Juarez. I cried for Leslie. The very fact that she has a family who loves her enough to take care of her is a blessing. I cried because I knew I didn't understand, but I was filled with confidence in knowing that she has the love of Christ with her. I cried because of how faithful her family was in asking for prayer. No matter where I am in the United States, I will never be in the same spot as that family. We are so fortunate to have so many options for healthcare. I cried because that family is the most beautiful thing I have seen in Mexico so far. It broke my heart and renewed my Spirit.

The Lord is so much bigger than I ever imagined. I don't need that 'feel good high' or miraculous signs. His presence is made known every single day, and my reliance on Him grows deeper with every week.

In Christ,

Jess

"All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us.."

Beautiful Things - Gungor

May 26th:

Hello there! My name is Jess Hehrer, and I am a senior at Ferris State University. I will be graduating with a degree in Medical Technology. This is my last summer off before I hit the real world, and I really wanted to spend my time doing something that would glorify the Lord and cause me deepen my relationship with Christ. I am excited to share with you what I experience while I am serving with Casas por Cristo this summer, and even more excited to hear your responses to it! Here’s a summary of the last two weeks:

Week 1:

Monday started bright and early. We got up at 4am so that we could be at the compound and ready to leave by six. What a disgustingly early time of day. We survived with the help of some coffee and a lot of anticipation :] I ended up being one of the drivers that morning, so I got to experience the border and Mexico driving firsthand. What a new experience that is! You have to drive aggressive just to be defensive, and traffic laws exist...but as Jack Sparrow says, they are more like guidelines than anything. We got to our church safe and sound, and then headed out to the work site. It was different than any other build that I have been on because we weren't just building. We were learning. Everything was done ridiculously slow so that we could grasp what was actually going on. 

Later in the afternoon we saw a funeral procession go by. Instead of a line of cars, it was a line of people walking down the road. They were carrying a small white casket. It was one of the rawest moments I have ever witnessed. There we were in West Juarez, building a home for a family who has nothing, watching a funeral procession march down a dirt road littered with trash and riddled with potholes. That moment in time erased every perception and every sense of normal I have ever had. It rocked my world, and I am still not sure how or what to think about it. It broke something deep inside of me. It unlocked compassion I never knew I was capable of feeling. Monday was an intense day. I was exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically.

We woke up around 5am on Tuesday and started to practice marking the plates around 6ish or so. One thing I have learned so far, is that for the most part, time is really relative in Mexico. You kind of have to just go with the flow and adjust accordingly. Most of the things I write about happen within the span of twelve hours or so, but aside from that, I have no idea when things go down. Just bear with me :] Anyways, we woke up super early, practiced some stuff, and then went to the work site until 5:30 in the evening. Seriously. It was the longest day of the week. We got one half hour break for lunch...and I definitely failed at drinking enough water. Exhaustion, dehydration, the Mexico heat, and a sore finger all encouraged me to have a small mental break down on the way back to the church. I sat in the back of David's truck while the others went into the grocery store and cried. It was like someone turned on the faucet and then walked away. I knew that I should probably get it together, but then I would just cry harder. Absolutely ridiculous. It was a really challenging day for me on a whole lot of different levels. On the plus side, I got to try guacamole for the first time ever. INCREDIBLE. So so good. 

We finished the house up on Wednesday, and were able to dedicate it to the family. With the help of some incredible staff, we were able to build our first house together. I am blown away by the patience and willingness to teach that was demonstrated every minute of every day. It didn't matter how ridiculous my questions were, how confused I was, or what kind of dumb mistakes I made. Everyone was willing to work with me, and teach me the things I needed to know. 

As with every home I've helped build in the past, the hardest part is leaving. Letting go of all ties to that family, and trusting that the Lord will use the pastors in the area to impact the family. Wednesday was also the day I drove a stick for the first time in four years or so. I don't know what the heck Justin Kirklin was thinking when he let me drive his truck. Unfortunately for me, I think he got waaaay to much entertainment out of watching me freak out. All in all, I think I did pretty well. Until we got to our destination. Everything went down hill from there...which is funny...because I stalled the truck going up a rather steep hill. It took me three or four times to get the dumb truck going, and Justin had the other two trucks go back down the hill in case I rolled backwards. What a humbling experience. To add to the fun, I had to turn off the road at the top of the hill and fit his truck through a tiny little gate. Praise the Lord I didn't bust off one of his mirrors or roll backwards in a fiery ball of failure. Only in Mexico. Gosh.

Aside from being around really cool people all week and learning how to build a house from the foundation up, the coolest thing we got to do was help build house 4000. Casas por Cristo has been around for almost twenty years, and has helped over 19,000 people. We got to be a part of the building of the 4000th house. What the heck. How stinkin' cool is that?? It was a double, which I have never seen before, and it was beautiful. The family that it was built for was so awesome. They were sincere and genuine, and helped any way they could. The dedication was emotional for a lot of people, myself included. It's incredible to see the work that God is doing in a city that most people have turned their back on. Juarez is commonly known as the most dangerous city in the world, but we are able to go down there and build houses for the people of that city. David said something at the dedication that I thought was really cool. I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was something to this extent:

If we claim that our God is so mighty and so powerful, how come we run away when things start to get tough?

If we trust in Him so much, how come we doubt when challenges come up? If we say that we rest confidently in our faith, how come we turn our backs when needs are presented?

I am blown away by the faithfulness of our Lord, and am incredibly honored that I am able to witness the miraculous things being done in Juarez. Casas por Cristo is a ministry that is starting to capture my heart fully and completely. 

Week 2:

This week was spent building our first double. Really, it isn't that much different than a single. Except it's bigger, the wiring is a little more complicated, there are extra walls, the rake walls are different, there are a lot more doors and windows, an extra couple of lights ect...haha. It's looks a lot different, but I learned that most of the technical stuff is pretty similar. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. This week was mostly different than last week because we already had a good idea of what to expect. Thanks to Justin's excellent teaching [and the other staff] we had a pretty good foundation already in place. I know that I for one wasn't nearly as anxious as I was last week. It was a build that was full of laughter, joy, and camaraderie. Don't get me wrong. There were definitely some tense and confusing moments [cough six hours of dry wall cough], but overall...it was an excellent build. 

The family that we built for this week was absolutely incredible. They were such a joy to be around. They helped with anything they could, their kids were stinking adorable, and they were kind enough to provide us with two delicious lunches. 

At the end of the build, they opened up a lot and shared what was on their hearts. It isn't too often that a family is that transparent, especially with the language barrier. Luckily, we have a few people who are very fluent in Spanish, and they were able to translate everything for us. It's so much more intimate when you can have actual conversations. They went from being a random family that was selected to a kind, loving family that is actively being pursued by the Lord. 

We've only been here for two weeks, but I feel like it has been two months. Time has no meaning, and I am constantly overwhelmed by a flood of thoughts that I don't even have time to sort through. I can already feel the changes that are happening in my heart. Check this out:

Think about being stressed. How much it wears you out physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It's rough, and an assortment of things can cause it. Sometimes it's suffocating and sometimes it's just a little uncomfortable. It ranges, you know? Now think about how you deal with that stress. I personally have a number of things I do to deal with stress. They're my coping mechanisms. I run, cook, eat, sleep, read, or watch a TV show of some sort. They're just things that settle my mind and give me some temporary peace. Take this next step and remove everything. Every possible method of dealing with stress. Take away the materialistic items, the physical activities, and every electronic device. 

When you remove the things of this world or when you are in a situation where those things aren't available, you are left with two options. You can drown in your stress and let it consume you, or you can fully rely on the comfort that the Lord offers. I've never been in a spot where all I have is God. There has never been a time in my life when I didn't have friends, money, food, sleep, or accessories. I've never had to let God comfort me because I have always been able to comfort myself either through my friends or through my own possessions. It's a crazy thing to be the lowest priority. What's even crazier is serving a God who can and will get you through any challenge that surfaces. I can't take care of myself right now like I’m use to, but God is. Woah.

He cares enough to do that. Not just when you are busy, but every moment of every day. We just have to let Him, you know?

I love being here. It’s such a blessing and an honor. It’s tough sometimes, but it’s so much bigger than the physical and mental challenges I face. I’m seriously stoked to see what the rest of the summer brings.

In Christ,

Jess

"I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:12,13